It’s a daily discipline, this clinging to Jesus. One look away from his Resurrection, I am already standing at the door step of my spiritual death. With just another glance at the Resurrected Jesus, I am instantly brought back to life with a renewed sense of hope. Each day, I journey through heaven and hell, falling and rising constantly. This daily struggle to consciously choose hope takes away ninety percent of my energy, it feels like sometimes.
It is pretty hard to think beyond that. I might need to accomplish something, but who knows? I would love to say that I care, but I don’t.
I am caring a lot less about a lot more things. I am trying less. I haven’t even picked up my ukulele in a week. Why bother? What is it going to do for me? It makes my fingers hurt. I do love it, but it pales in comparison to when I could sing.
Traditionally, I would lay in bed all day, isolate myself from friends and family and overall neglect my health and wellbeing. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 16 years old. 10 years is an incredibly long time to live in fear of daily activities. Ever since I have found Christ, things have began to change for me.